I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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