He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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