if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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