do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
