I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
