Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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