Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
