I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
