i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
