I'm laying in your front yard are you home
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
