OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
