I just saw a hot homeless man
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize