I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just cropdusted the office
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
