its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
