Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
