ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
