READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
