she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
