READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just invented taco cereal.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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