Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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