that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
