i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
