It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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