new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
