i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
