Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
