I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
