so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
