wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
