3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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