I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
