I puked a lego.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
