She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize