i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
