a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
