Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize