I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize