I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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