Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
