I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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