Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
