Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
