i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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