I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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