What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
