i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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