it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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