The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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