I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
How's work?
Spinning.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize