What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
