He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize