whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
