Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
ttyl tear gas
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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