Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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