can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
love makes seman taste better
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
