Will you blow on my dice?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i will never coherently bang her
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
