I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
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