Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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