Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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