Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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