omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
