wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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