i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize