So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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