Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
A+ Viking dick
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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