Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
