You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
