Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
