you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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