So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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