How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
