i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
