physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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