don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
