At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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